“It’s been a long time since I liked what I see, that person in the mirror looking back at me.  It’s been a long time since the feelings I have felt. I allowed to wash through me making the ice melt. Leaving a warm open heart ready to love not only myself but others too who also know the meaning of pain. And what it feels like to finally gain FREEDOM!.  

Freedom from the prison we place ourselves in, to stop us from loving ourselves from within. The prison from which we look out in despair and long to be free in the fresh open air. Well that prison no longer has a place for me. For I by loving myself set myself free.” Kay Proudfoot 1991

 

It has taken me 35+ years to ‘set myself free’, to  fully remember who I am, come home to myself.  I was shut down, numb, had most addictions and did not feel safe to be here, let alone allow myself to be me. I lived my life for others, especially my parents, I didn’t know who I was. I gave my power away and kept quiet. I carried many fears both from this lifetime and others and always needed to be validated, approved of. So was always ‘performing’, hiding behind many self created masks. Until one day it all came crashing down. My body stopped working, I couldn’t function. That was the first of many wake up calls!!! 

 

I say many as I now realise we are so conditioned, programmed to live/be a certain way. And it takes time to let go of that way even if we don't like it, because we are familiar with it and we are not encouraged to change, to live in the unknown. This is why it is an unraveling process. 

 

I preface to say that upon reflection I was guided every step of the way. I definitely was watched over, for what I experienced and what I put myself and body through, it’s amazing I'm still here. 

 

I had an anorexic mother and a father I was frightened of. So I grew up with a serious body image disorder which was compounded by the fear of doing something wrong. Hence the programme of perfection! And such self judgement that my nervous system was in constant ‘fight or flight’. 

This was also due to constantly being uprooted, moving from one place to another from the age of 6 months,so never being able to settle or have long term friends. 

 

The one constant I felt was my connection to the animals, nature and I spent a lot of my childhood with them. I loved the magic of fairy tales and read many books, living in my own fantasy world.

 

I was blessed (guided) to an amazing therapist who helped me to begin to unravel the many layers, and I went through a long dark, very intense night of the soul. During that time I was told that my voice was my main gift—the sacred thread through which my soul would touch the world.

 And as I continued, that truth blossomed into reality, helping to clear and dissolve many barriers around my heart, barriers that felt like a fortress with a moat around it. It took me many years to feel safe enough to take off my energetic suit of armour, and put down my sword to allow myself to live as love, with my heart wide open to the magic of life.

 

 What has kept me going throughout my journey is the animals and nature, it truly is why I am still here. It is still my number one passion and I did discover why as my unraveling continued, the deep reverence and connection with the Kingdoms as I call them.

One day whilst walking feeling very angry at the disrespect of nature, a female voice within said "That’s because their hearts are closed, help them to open them and you will see what you desire." That was the beginning of discovering and living my purpose! 

Due to my experiences, I was watching myself become aware of the truth, that others also suffered from the same fears and programming. And because of my natural passion for teaching and my message from my Higher Self,  I created my first booklet and seminar “Dare To Change” and began to share what I was learning . It took great courage to do this but it rapidly led to great success, creating my own business, The Proudfoot Connection, and being invited to speak all over the world. This also allowed my creativity to soar and I created many products that complimented my seminars, the main one being my guided meditations which have reached thousands, and still are, some even sharing with me that they saved their lives.

But even though I thoroughly enjoyed what I was doing, the undercurrent of fear remained and I would not allow myself to truly shine, so I would sabotage myself by telling myself that it wasn't good enough, people didn’t really like it, I didn't know enough. I wouldn’t allow myself to accept the truth. Meaning, I wasn’t  afraid that people wouldn't like my seminars. I was  afraid of how it would feel if they did. I was afraid of being seen. I was afraid of shining too bright. I was afraid of what it would mean about me if I actually allowed myself to be fully expressed in the world. Big stuff that to be totally honest still lingers at this moment. As said this is an unraveling process that requires tremendous courage and steadfastness, because who we really are is what I term “God in a bod.”  When you begin to realise this, your whole world changes, my whole world changed. No longer could I hide behind the masks, that started dissolving anyways. Owning who I am and taking full responsibility for my life has taken a while. And that is where true freedom lies. The prison that we build to stop us from loving ourselves from within dissolves!!! This is not easy! 

 

 One of my biggest life changing experiences was my kundalini activation in 2003 that almost ended my life and took a year to recover, and acclimate. This showed me how potent our life force is and why this awakening process is a gradual one and must be respected. There is no quick fix or instant gratification, or living in the ‘rainbow, unicorn’ belief. I learnt that eventually! We are here to wake up to our divinity, to the power of the love that we are, and live that life. I am here to lead by example, to sow seeds of love, to show what is not only possible but available. And it takes time. I lived through the holy fire and come out the other side. I know and I also know that by sharing my experience, my wisdom and creations, the God frequency that I am, weaves its magic!

 

On another occasion a few years later, I felt my hands click and energy flow from my palms and knew that an ability had been activated. So I asked to be guided to share this in a way that helped open people's hearts. A few months later in a vision I watched myself working on someone, wrote it down and asked friends if I could try it on them. The results were amazing, as I watched layers like winter coats fall off, and at the end of each session they literally glowed!!! Effortlessly they were cleared of what they were ready to let go of, and opened up to more of who they were.

 

I went on to help many people sharing this gift in conjunction with facilitating. Four years later whilst meditating the same female inner voice that spoke in 1995 said "Sing Kay, sing!" I thought, "I don't sing." The voice repeated, and so I opened my mouth and sounds began to flow out. When I stopped every cell in my body was vibrating and my heart was pounding! A year later that same voice said "Go and record." Following that guidance,  as I sat in the studio I was transported to a meadow with ancient trees, wildflowers and a dolphin that spiraled down in front of me, the sounds began and my first song Sacred Union was created. This song, which is a chant, has reached thousands all over the world with many having beautiful experiences due to the frequencies/codes that flow through it. It's still one of the most amazing and magical experiences I have had, and I have had many.

I went on to co-create with the Kingdoms as I call them a few more songs and my first album, Sacred Sounds Of Love was birthed. This led to Sound Healing events which again have been profound both for myself and those attending.  However it is only in the last few months that I have finally fully embodied and experienced that love that we are, flowing freely through my being and it really is beyond words!  To just bask in the stillness and feel the flow.

 

What I now understand is that as we open up and embody this Love that we are, it NATURALLY transforms all that is not! So simple! You don't have to analyse, you just have to be with what arises and allow the love to transform it. Easier said than done I know, as most do not like to feel their feelings. So I am “proof of the pudding” as they say. And it has inspired me at a whole new level to help others to experience it too. For as I said, it is why we are here, to wake up and remember who we truly are. LOVE. To come together and create a New world where Love reigns supreme! IT IS TIME!!! So I know first hand the Courage, the Steadfastness, the Faith, the Patience this journey takes as we dive deep and clear our traumas, beliefs, fears to open up, to awaken to and own our magnificence. To fully embody more and more of the Love/Light we are and have always been. And I am here to help guide and support those who are ready.

 

My story shows how everything truly is divinely orchestrated and timed. And that we have no idea what gifts, talents are lying within us waiting to be activated, revealed. How supported and deeply loved we are and that everything really is already within. And WE have to do the work, no one else can do it for us. It is my deepest desire that my journey, and creations inspire and assist others to unravel with greater ease, grace, and discovering that “Only Love Is Real” and “You ARE that Love”and then to once again "Live As That Love."

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